The Loftis Family

The hormones of pregnancy have hit.  I remember them hitting me around 10 weeks with Amelia…hey, I made it two extra weeks with this one before they hit…but they’ve hit harder this time.

With Amelia my first sappy moment came when I heard a Kroger ad on the radio.  They were thanking all of the families of those serving for their sacrifices and wishing them a Happy Memorial Day.  I lost it in the car.

We were watching Up this afternoon and while I’ve seen most of the movie before, I never saw the first 15 minutes.  It’s so sweet and so sad, it makes me think of my love for Dustin and well you know the tears started flowing shortly thereafter.

I heard not great news from 3 friends in the last 24 hours and each time I’ve gotten emotional.  I heard GREAT news from two friends this week and of course I got emotional (congrats again you guys!).  I read a sad story and I tear up, I see an ad on tv that’s sweet and I tear up, my sweet Amelia tells me that she loves me and I tear up.

I think being a mom has made me more sappy and being a pregnant mom has made me a complete mushy mess!  I’m waiting for something completely silly to hit me and for me to lose it, say when I’m buying bananas and they don’t have any ripe enough. Or maybe when I want to wear a certain pair of comfy stretchy pants but they’re in the washing machine soaking wet.  Speaking of, I am thankfully not wearing stretchy maternity clothes yet.  My belly is most definitely popping and by the end of the day I look like I did when I was about 18 weeks with Amelia, but on a good day I just look like I had too many cookies at Christmas.  Thanks to my morning (rather all day) sickness I haven’t gained any weight so far, yay!  Nope, no belly pictures yet, I’ll save those for when I clearly look pregnant.

A very Happy New Year to all!  I hope 2010 is a year full of health, wealth, love, kisses and hugs and most of all happiness for you and yours.

We had a follow-up ultrasound today to check the status of the hemorrhage and it’s no longer visible!  YAY!!! That week of bed rest did my body and the baby a lot of good.  I’m still on restricted activity, but I can step things up a little bit.  We didn’t tell my OB, but I’ve already stepped things up a bit taking a few sessions and doing things around the house.

What a difference two weeks makes!  The baby is measuring ahead and has a heart rate of 153BPM.  We got to see him/her sucking their thumb…you can see it in one of the ultrasounds below.

Now for the not so great news of the day.  Because I’ve had early ultrasounds my doctor was able to identify early indicators of placenta previa.  I’ve been having intermittent back pain the last few days that reminded me of being in early labor with Amelia.  I thought it was odd, but didn’t think much of it.  I thought maybe I had a UTI or it was just a weird new symptom of this pregnancy….nope, they’re contractions and pretty uncomfy ones at that.

Placenta previa is when the placenta grows either partially or completely on top of the cervical opening.  Unfortunately my little one and the placenta decided to take up residence right next to my cervix.  At the moment there aren’t any major concerns, but if the placenta doesn’t migrate north then I’ll likely face more bed rest, possible pre-term labor and a definite c-section.

A LOT can change and I am determined that it will change.  We’re hopeful that the munchkin will migrate higher in my uterus in the next few months and we’ll have another vaginal delivery in early July.  Please pray for these changes.

I jokingly said before Christmas that I wanted just one more ultrasound other than the 20 week ultrasound. I wanted to see my little one just once more.  Well, we’re 12 weeks in and we’ve seen the baby 5 times, should have only seen the baby 1 time by now.  I will now be monitored and will have ultrasounds every 4 weeks for the duration of my pregnancy…or at least until the placenta previa is resolved.  Be very careful what you wish for.  My wish for one more ultrasound has unfortunately turned into many more…and many more fears and prayers.

One really awesome part…I know without any doubt that I’m feeling the baby move.  I can feel little movements and the baby rolling over.  I LOVE this part of pregnancy, I am so blessed to be able to do this again.

My next appointment is in late January, I’ll be 16 weeks and have to do the icky glucose test (I’ll do it again at 26-28 weeks too).  On the plus side we’ll most definitely have a wiggly baby hanging out in my tummy that morning.

He/she was VERY sleepy and despite the technician bouncing my tummy up and down the little one wouldn’t stir.  Sleepy babies make for good pictures though.  So, here’s our “boring baby” (yes that’s what the technician called the baby). So cute!

My conversation with Amelia this evening while I was laying down resting.

Amelia: Mommy, wake up

Mommy: no, I’m sleepy

Amelia: why?

Mommy: because I’m resting

Amelia: why?

Mommy: because my tummy hurts

Amelia: why?

Mommy: because I’m have a tummy ache

Amelia: why?

Mommy: because I’m pregnant

Amelia: why?

We stopped the back and forth right there.  I thought that “why?” was a 4 year old thing.  This kiddo is too smart!

Amelia says the funniest things.

Tonight I asked Amelia what her baby’s name is (you know the one in my tummy) and she said “it’s cute.”  So from this point forward the baby will be named “it’s cute” unless she comes up with another name, we’re just hoping it isn’t Dora, Diego or Kai-Lan.  She called the baby Gabby recently after hearing the name Gabriella…who knows, perhaps she knows something we don’t.

We play this game where Amelia pretends to be a princess like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty and she pretends to sleep on the floor with her arms folded on her chest waiting for a kiss to wake her up.  Well, tonight Dustin was pretending to be a sleeping prince and Amelia was kissing him to wake him up.  Each time she would kiss him his eyes would pop open, he’d yell “ROAR” and tickle her.  It was so cute watching them play this game.  Well all of a sudden Amelia decided she’d scare daddy back.  She sat up and said “I scare Daddy!” and she let out the loudest and funniest “ROAR!” we’ve ever heard.  She kept doing it over and over running around him yelling “ROAR!”.  I had tears in my eyes by the time she stopped.

Shortly after that she was standing next to me and I asked her what was on my arms, pointing to the freckles hoping she’d remember that she called them “arm stars” back in July.  Nope, she looked at them and said “they’re nipples mommy.”  Apparently I have hundreds of tiny nipples on my arms.

As I’ve said before, she’s very creative and has opinions about everything.  Our bed time routine is important to all of us, it’s our guaranteed play time where we focus on being a family, it’s something we’ve always enjoyed.  Bed time tonight was undoubtedly one of my favorites in the last 2 years.

Here are the pictures of the new little Loftis.  S/he looks like a bit like a giant shrimp.  They’re not the best pictures, but during the ultrasound we got to see the little legs and feet and the baby moving all around.

The big bulge on the left side is the baby’s head (yep, still disproportionately large) and the baby’s bum is on the right with the legs and arms hanging down. You can see the baby’s brain forming too…pretty neat stuff.

Hopefully we’ll have more pictures to share on the 29th after our next ultrasound.

I started spotting again last night so my 72 hours of bed rest started over.  I’ve done well today and rested, took a 2 hour nap when Amelia napped and sat on my rear for the remainder of the day.  Dustin is as always simply awesome.  Seriously, I am blessed with the best husband and father for my children that I could have imagined.

I spoke with my doctor yesterday and she said that she expects some bleeding due to the location (where the placenta attaches to the uterus) and the size of it.  She told me to continue resting and hopefully things will work out.  We’re hopeful!

I’m on bed rest through the weekend assuming I’m don’t have any further spotting.  So, if you’re bored and in Spring feel free to drop by, ha!

Yesterday we went to Amelia’s school program.  Admittedly I was nervous about Amelia seeing us, crying and not wanting anything to do with the holiday program.  I am pretty sure she saw me and well, she didn’t cry.  She sang along and rang her bell.  She made her mommy, daddy and grandparents proud.

For so many years I’ve waited and hoped for the Christmas spirit to fill me the way I felt it as a child.  Seeing my daughter light up with the joy of the season has filled me with that spirit. I can’t wait to share Christmas with Amelia next Friday.

Enjoy!

My Amelia,

Two years ago my life changed.  Two years ago I took on this stressful, crazy, rewarding, fulfilling, magical role of being a mother. Two years ago I started living and loving in a way I could never have imagined.

You’ve taught me unconditional love, selflessness, patience (ok, maybe not) and so much more in the last two years. This last year was even better than the first.  You started the year out by fine tuning your walking skills which you started perfecting just before your first birthday.  You started calling me Mommy shortly thereafter too…and Dada turned into Daddy.  You went from saying about 10 words around your first birthday to saying more than we could possible count by your second.  People who know you say that you’re the most verbal toddler they’ve ever met.

You can count to 20 in English, for the most part to 10 in Spanish and you know your entire alphabet.  While you know your numbers you’re actually already making associations with counting, you can count 2 penguins sitting on ice in your book or 4 airplanes flying in the sky.  You love to sing; you know Row, Row, Row Your Boat, You are My Sunshine, The Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle, Twinkle and a few others.

You’re pretty good with sharing, except when it’s with your cousin Keira…we’ll work on that more in your third year since you’re going to be a big sister in about 7 months.   You’re trying to potty train yourself, you ask to go potty and you often run to the “big girl potty” yelling “come on mommy!”  I am certain we’ll have you potty trained much sooner than later.  You’re a fantastic little artist; I am constantly amazed at all of the projects you bring home from school.  You’re a big helper, from helping your teachers change diapers to cleaning up your toys at home.

You’re curious; you’ll climb on anything.  You’re fearless; you’ll slide down big girl slides head first and jump up and down on any bed we’ll let you stand on.  You’re stubborn; you won’t eat something unless you really like it.  You’re independent; you do what you want on your terms when you want to do them and you won’t follow anyone’s lead.  You’re infectious; I’ve never met a child more loving, more willing to give kisses and hugs.  You’re sensitive; you feel others’ emotions and feed off of them.  You’re loving; you know when mommy is sick and you know exactly what to say or do.  In just one year you’ve turned from my sweet little infant just learning to take your own steps into a curious, fearless, stubborn, independent, infectious, sensitive and loving little girl.

I sometimes miss that sweet little baby I enjoyed the first year because you grew too quickly.  But I can say with absolute honesty that I love the Amelia I know today more than the one I knew yesterday.  I can’t believe it, I can’t believe how my heart has grown and how it keeps expanding to take all of you in.  I still cannot believe that you’re mine.

I hope and pray that the things you’ve learned during your second year will lead you down the right paths in life.  I hope that when you read this when you’re in your twenties or fifties that some of the lessons you learned during your 2nd year will still be with you and that you’ll still be my curious, fearless, stubborn, independent, infectious, sensitive and loving Amelia.

With all of my love,

Mommy

Today isn’t a good day, in fact it’s a bit harder than yesterday.  I had more spotting this morning which has officially put me on bed rest for 72 hours without color…best case scenario I’ll be off on Saturday morning.  Saturday happens to be the day that we were supposed to photograph a wedding that I have been looking forward to for months.  I will not be photographing the wedding, but thankfully Dustin will be with a few of our colleagues that have stepped up to help out.  I am so grateful for their kindness on such short notice.  I will be sad to miss it, but our family is and always will be our #1 priority.

Today didn’t start well with the spotting, but it’s ending well.  Amelia was a dream today, in fact I think we went all day with only one tantrum…the one that started the day.  It’s impossible to tell a 2 year old that you can’t pick her up, it’s impossible for her to understand and it’s impossible as a mother who wants to smother her daughter with love to tell her no.  She wasn’t happy this morning about not being picked up and loved on, but we moved past it.  We’re simply explaining to Amelia that mommy is sick and cannot pick her up…let’s hope tomorrow morning is better.

This morning while I was resting on the sofa Amelia went into her room and got her little toy pot and her spatula from her play kitchen.  She came back into the family room and I asked her what she was making she said “I’m making mommy feel better.”  Kids know how to say exactly the right thing at the right time.  She’s been snuggling with me all day and loving on me, telling me over and over that she loves me. She just walked up to me a moment ago and said “kisses” which means I need to give you a kiss.

I am blessed every day, but today I am more so.

This pregnancy was different than Amelia’s in almost every way, more nausea, exhaustion, all the normal stuff.  It was normal and different until last night.  Last night I started spotting.  Of course the same emotions we dealt with while expecting Amelia came right back to us, devastation that we were dealing with spotting again and fear of the unknown.

I called my OB first thing this morning and they asked me to come in as soon as I could.  I am Rh- (b- blood type) and any sign of spotting/bleeding indicates that they need to give me a RhoGAM shot.  I had them with Amelia at 8 weeks, 26 weeks and the day after she was born because she was Rh+ so that part wasn’t a big deal.  It’s just a shot in your bum that stings like crazy for a few minutes.

When we got there they told us we’d have an exam with my doctor and they asked if we would like to wait around for a while and have an ultrasound…ummm, yes.  In the interim I had an exam and there are no further signs of bleeding were found.

I got my shot and signed up to be part of a research study for Rh- women.  They’re hoping to be able to identify a fetus’ blood/gender type early in pregnancy to be able to eliminate administering the RhoGAM shot in Rh- women carrying Rh- babies (there’s no need if the fetus has the same blood type).  If you’re Rh- and carrying a Rh+ child you have a higher chance of miscarriage, pre-term labor or labor complications…RhoGAM shots eliminate those concerns for the most part.  The study is simple for me, they have to draw blood every 4 weeks between now and 20 weeks…which they have to do on me anyways so it’s not a big deal.  I say if anything helps another mom/baby down the road then I’ll definitely do it!

We finally finished with the shot, exam, paperwork, etc. and went in for the ultrasound.

This is the second time we’ve gone through this, the second time we’ve had to wait and wonder if our baby was still there, still growing and thriving, that its little heart was still beating so rapidly and beautifully.  The tech started the ultrasound and immediately I saw a baby that looked like it should look at 10 weeks, right where I am, it looked perfect…now where was the heart beat?  She moved it around and we saw that awesome little flicker.  RELIEF and answered prayers.  My faith in God was renewed with my precious miracle Amelia and it is once again renewed with this little one.  We saw the beautiful healthy heart beating at 160 BPM (yes, I know that’s a girl-range heartbeat for you old wives tale lovers).

The tech continued the exam and found the culprit, a subchorionic hemorrhage…yep, the same thing I had with Amelia. So, for now I’m on somewhat restricted activity.  No heavy lifting and resting as much as possible…holiday shopping should be interesting since I haven’t even started.  We have a big wedding to shoot on Saturday so I’m a bit nervous and we’re hopefully going to hire an assistant to do my heavy lifting…ie: hold my camera when I’m not shooting.

We go back on the 29th for a follow-up ultrasound.  Please pray that the hemorrhage will resolve itself (and NOT grow) and that our little bean will be 2 weeks closer to being a big plump newborn (ok, I know I have small babies, but I can dream of having a plump one).  Just pray, that’s all I ask.

We’ll update as things progress.